A funny fic. Disclaimer, I own none of the characters or people here. I was only using them for some fun and then give them back when I'm done. Now if you go to the voting polls then you will know these people in here other wise it might make you wonder.

“I think I’ll write another fanfic.” Ranma’s girl sits down at the computer and no sooner does she start to type she finds herself surrounded by many people.

“Ok what are you all doing here.” Ranma’s girl turns to look at the large assembly of people gathered around her.

“I don’t want you doing another fanfic you keeps ticking me with Ryoga or Konatsu never Ranma honey.” Ukyou glared at her.

“Well, duh and why is that.” I ask her thinking geez by now she should know.

“Hmmmph your well paid I guess, I’m sure Akane pays you well.” Ukyou then turned her glare at Akane who met it with her own.

“You wish.” Akane muttered.

“No Akane does pay me, she knows she doesn’t have to but Konatsu does pay me well, same as Akari. Who both blushed deeply when the respected suitors in my opinion, looked at them.

“Figures Ukyou glared some more at Konatsu then Ryoga for good measures.

Shampoo pushed her way through the crowd.

“Shampoo want talk to you bout you dumb fics, I never get Ranma, I always get mousse, when I get Ranma.” Shampoo looked hopeful

“Hmmm I guess when Akane drops dead.” Ranma’s girl answered her.

“HEY” Ranma and Akane yelled. “We’re suppose to be your favorites remember.”

“Don’t worry I’ll never forget that.” Ranma’s girl smiles then hugs them both while giving Ranma’s butt a squeeze which caused him to blush furiously. Shampoo just glared some more.

“Great that mean I never get Ranma. Fine then make sure I no get mousse.”

“But why you two look so cute together.” Ranma’s girl looks hurt for a moment.

“Everyone say that I want new man, besides I give you unlimited amount of ramen.” Shampoo gave an evil glint.

“That works on Ranma not me.” Ranma’s girl, then smile evilly. “But if you have chocolate I could be persuaded to change my mind.”

“Ok I give you very big box of best chocolates.” Shampoo then hands over a big box of deluxe chocolates to Ranma’s girl.

“Thanks Shampoo you are now married to ummmm let’s see, Kuno.”

“Icky no way he love himself to much.” Shampoo glared a bit.

“I resent that I’m just happen to be perfect and would like the ladies to know this fact so they have a clear picture of my perfection’s and they can all feel the glory of m…y………..”

“Bout time someone hit him on the head geez.” Ranma’s girl turns back to keyboard, ok how bout Ryoga.” Looks at Shampoo who’s shaking her head no while a large sumo pig is standing above her head ready to drop.

“Umm how can that pig get up there and not fall.” Ranma’s girl stares at large pig hanging from chandelier.

“Umm going on how bout voodoo boy.” “NO “Ummmm Tarou how bout him he’s cute a great fighter and ummm not attached.” Ranma’s girl looks hopeful

“Ok I try him.” Shampoo looks even happier, since the pig climbed back down from the chandelier.

“Ok can I go back to my fic now.” Ranma’s girl turns around but doesn’t even start to type since Ukyou is blocking the keyboard.

“Not until you do something for me, I want to marry Ranma and I want people to know how wonderful I am and sweet and kind and loving and the best fiancée for Ranma and to have us marry in the end or else.” Ukyou glares at Ranma’s girl.

“Hmmmph move aside and then see what I write.” Ranma’s girl starts to type out several things.

Local paper headliner doesn’t surprise local residence. Truck while admiring herself in her wedding dress hits Ukyou, while heading for church she had paid a large sum of money to Kuno to knock Ranma out and drag him there. The plan didn’t work since Kuno was unable to hit Ranma so he never knew about the wedding and Ukyou never made it across the street since she was not paying attention to where she was going while looking in hand held mirror.

Local response from the locals were as followed.

“Who oh her the okinomeyaki girl her food was good to bad her head was so large, why she thought she was so perfect was a mystery to me.” This from little old lady, who cleans her sidewalk every morning.

“What kind of garbage is that.” Ukyou demands

“Easy your now dead you did die thinking you’d marry Ranma so what more do you want the locals think you think your wonderful geez your so ungrateful.” Ranma’s girl glares then types Ukyou’s funeral went by rapidly people left okinomeyaki instead of flowers.

“Great thanks a lot.” Ukyou then sits down to sulk.

“Fine what ever Ranma’s girl turns to type some more when once again she interrupted.

“What about me hmmm.” Kodachi stood by Ranma’s girl looking down her nose at her while twirling her ribbon.

“Hmm no problem.”

“I can have Ranma.” Kodachi looks excited.

“No this.” Ranma’s girl types some more.

Kodachi dies as she accidentally strangles herself with her ribbon when she was practicing.

“That’s it that is horrible.” Kodachi then tries to lash out at Ranma’s girl who catches her ribbon easily.

“Dummy, remember who’s writing here, no matter what you do I can counter it.” Ranma’s girl then starts to swing the ribbon herself over her head, while ideally wondering how her ceiling had gotten so tall. But shrugs it off as part of the fic then lets her end take off in free fall to watch Kodachi land several blocks away in a compost heap with a loud splat that everyone heard.

“Oh ugh remind me never get her mad.” Akane winkles her nose as the smell somehow reaches them.

“That was so cool.” Ranma laughs as he slips an arm around Akane’s waist, which earns him a smile from her while several glares from other guys in the room.

“Hey why don’t I get Akane.” Kuno ask now that he’s awake again.

“Easy she hates your guts.” Ranma’s girl smiles sweetly while Kuno falls over in shock. “Life’s rough Kuno baby. How bout Nabiki I do so like you two together.”

“HMMM I don’t need a man but I want to know why you had me lose money to Okane that wasn’t very fair of you, you know I never lose money.” Nabiki glares at Ranma’s girl

“Okane and RRC are my friends your not so tough luck.” Ranma’s girl glares back.

“Then make it so I win.” Nabiki hands her a wad of bills.

“Hmmm ok can I choose how though.”

“Sure as long as I win.” Nabiki looked smug

“Ok here goes nothing hehehehhehehhehe.” Ranma’s girl types some more while Nabiki looks a bit worried by the laughter.

Nabiki walk up to Okane ready to challenge her once and for all.

“Okane it’s time we settled things.” Nabiki flashed several bills.

“Sure what ever you want.” Okane sound bored while inside she’s jumping Edith excitement. *I love taking her money.*

“Ok here’s the bet, ummmm.” Nabiki was at a lost for making a bet now.


“How bout this if I win you give me all your money while you then give your self body and soul to Gosunkugi. If you win you give me all your money while you then marry Kuno baby.” Okane smiled sweetly at her.

“Sure I can’t lose.” Nabiki wonders why her head seems so clouded but figures this would work out in her favor after all Ranma’s girl said it would didn’t she. Nabiki stood confused for a moment. Before turning her attentions back to Okane when she heard her voice.

“Ok you won you get to marry Kuno while giving that wad of moolaa to me thanks for playing to bad I lost huh.” Okane smiled since she knew Nabiki was too far out of it with the large amount of laughing gas; she was giving just before leaving the home of Ranma’s girl.

“I won hey cool, here’s the money where’s my Kuno.” Nabiki handed the money over to Okane’s she went looking for Kuno.

“That’s it your great I win against Okane idea that sucks that’s horrible I’d never be that stupid.”

“Maybe but the only other alternative was to kill you off. Also Okane gave me some chocolates to make sure she never lost to you. And she’s a friend giggle, bwahahhahahhahahahhahhaha.” Ranma’s girl laughed like kodachi for a moment, which worried the others.

“Umm Ranma’s girl please don’t laugh like that again it’s freaky.” Ranma looked at her with pleading eyes.

“For you anything.” Ranma’s girl gives him another hug while pinching his bottom again. Ranma blushed some more as he walked back to Akane who looked questionably at him.

“Hmm you sell me out for chocolates.” Nabiki glared some more.

“Hey they weren’t just plain old boring chocolates they were deluxe chocolates.” Ranma’s girl glares some more then starts to type something else.

Nabiki made bad deals with underworld figures, she’s later found at the bottom of the river.

Local residence all says the same thing.

“I knew it would happen sooner or later more sooner then later though. She was one bad girl always taking money from the poor to make herself rich. This from the little old lady who cleans her side walks every morning.

“Thanks a lot you don’t think Ranma would save me.” Nabiki looks angrily at Ranma’s’; girl

“Nope he’s to busy getting married to save you after being caught in Akane room at night with no clothes on.” Ranma’s girl giggles happily.

“Hey you can’t make this lemon your posting it on the VB you know.” Nabiki glares some more hoping to somehow undo the typing that has already been placed for all of time or at least until the year 2000.

“So what was I doing in there at night.” Ranma asked innocently.

“Akane you need to take him out of here and show him that.” Ranma’s girl shakes her head “SO cute and so naive.” Ranma’s girl goes back to typing as Akane leads Ranma away with a large grin on her face.

“How could you she’s a pure and innocent child and your sending her to her doom.” Ryoga screamed loudly

“She’s getting married she’ll no longer be innocent and she’s out grown the child part so give it up already.” Ranma’s girl then types some more things.

Ryoga breaks both legs is unable to move for several months so is stuck at Akari’s home where she cares for him until he’s better they then get married.

“That’s your solution.” Ryoga glares at Ranma’s girl some more. “Who would be able to break my legs mind telling me that.

“I did didn’t you see me type that up here. Oh wait I gotta add a period there.

Ryoga falls down with two broken legs; Akari picks him up to take him homes while handing Ranma’s girl a large box of deluxe chocolates. Ryoga looks on in shock as Akari say’s thanks then hauls him away.

Several other guys are all glaring at Ranma’s girl waiting for her attention.

“It won’t work guys you’ll never get Akane in one of my fics she belongs with Ranma and only Ranma so give it up already.” Ranma’s girl keeps typing never looking at the many angry faces.

“It’s not fair though.” Several guys all moans out loud as Ranma’s girl just giggle happily while typing.

“Kuno starts a monastery and invites all the guys to join him, several guy ok all the guys from Furinkin when found they couldn’t have Akane all join it with Kuno. “That’s it you have me as a monk what kind of life is that.” Kuno glares with daggers in his eyes.

Ranma’s girl glares back then types some more.

“Kuno glared so hard with daggers in his eyes they all flew backward and pierced what little bit of a brain he had, he dropped dead instantly.

Locals all say the same thing.

“Good riddance I never did like the pompous ass, with bad poetry.” This from little old lady who cleans her side walks every morning.

“That madam can not happen.” Kuno glares some more, until the little daggers all turn on him and pierce his brain so he promptly falls dead.

“Umm remind me to never glare daggers at someone. Mousse looks on in shock.

“Ok fine I don’t want to be a monk so what are you going to do with me and nothing perverted I hope.

“Hmm ok mousse since so many give you such a hard time and Shampoo is now with Tarou I’ll make you a Hollywood star wanted by many American women all over. Rich beyond words and happily living in the life of wealth and ultra luxury.” Ranma’s girl types that all in to which Mousse smiles like a Cheshire cat.


“Hey thanks I like that who needs Shampoo now.” Mousse walks off happy, then promptly hit the wall to knock him out.

“Hmm gotta add gets his eyes fixed too. Ranma’s girl looks around wondering if she can now type with out interference. Hmmm Kodachi is gone, Shampoo left to get to know Tarou and Mousse is out cold Kuno’s dead, Ryoga has broken legs with Akari caring for him. Nabiki’s dead and Ukyou’s dead.” then noticed Ukyou sitting on the couch. “Hey your suppose to be dead you know.” Ranma’s girl ask her as if this is normal every day conversation.

“Well to bad, I’m not going to die, I’m not even going to appear in anymore of your stupid fics since you keep letting Akane have Ranma. Ukyou deepen her glare even more.

“Geez go read the final manga then you’ll see for yourself that they’re in love.

“Big deal, I know what happens there but I didn’t like that ending either!” Ukyou stood up easily. “I’m going see ya around but not likely.” Ukyou left with a flip of her hair. Ranma’s girl went back to typing the last of her fan fic.

“Ok all that’s left is this one little thing to say not very much either, just two words one syllable each so they’re easy to read too.” Ranma’s girl looks around as she realized she’s talking to her self again. “Good no one around to hear me.” Ranma’s girl then types in the last two words.

THE END

Ranma’s girl

“Hey wait a minute, you didn’t add me and Belldandy into this fic.” Mallet boy glares at Ranma’s girl.

“Ummm sorry just a moment then. Ranma’s girl types some more things down.

In the news today Belldandy elopes with Mallet boy last night, residence all say the same thing.

“Their such a cute couple so much in love too.” This from little old lady who cleans her side walks every morning.

“That better.” Ranma’s girl looks at Mallet boy, who nods happily as he walks off proudly with Belldandy.

“Glad that’s over with.” Ranma’s girl quickly signs off before anymore come along, then stumbles off to her bed.